When we hear the word discount, we often think of price, but I am talking about another meaning of the word discount, known as lack of regard for someone or something. So, in a sentence, “They discounted my ideas because they said they were stupid.” Or, “That’s being discounted because it’s not from here.”

Has anyone judged you or your actions without knowing all the details first? Or, maybe they overlooked something good about you? Sure, those things have happened, and probably more than once. It’s an easy thing to do. How did you know they misjudged you? Did they tell you directly, or was it gossip from someone else? Are you even sure you were misjudged, and maybe you misjudged the person who you thought was judging you?

Can you control what they think about you? No, but you can control what you think about yourself and how you respond to those who misjudge you. Did you want to yell out, “Hey, don’t judge me!” Do you think that works? How about buying nice things for people after they misjudge you?

No, those don’t work. When people misjudge you, that’s an indication that they don’t want to take time to find out more first. They are in such a hurry to put a decision about someone in their mind, that they don’t take the time needed to find out more first. That’s a discount.

Of course, why does anyone judge anyone at all? Mostly for safety reasons and to establish a connection with someone or feel comfortable letting that person into a group. That takes time to think about and put into perspective. What is everyone wanting more of and not having these days? Time.  That’s why court cases take a while. All the facts, all the details are shown before a decision is made. I’m not talking about putting yourself or anyone else on trial, but just simply using that process as an example of finding out facts first before jumping to conclusions. Not taking time to get more details before judgment is made or making a bad judgment. That’s a discount.

So, back to talking about your being judged the wrong way. Are you doing something good for other people that won’t cause trouble? Do you know if you’ve broken any rules at school or any laws? What if what you are doing is both good for other people and doesn’t break any laws? Yep, some people will still misjudge you.

It might not be anything you are doing but simply because you look a certain way or speak a certain way. Maybe you have a certain personality that is different from everyone else. What if it’s all three of these and more? Are you going to misjudge yourself and think less of yourself? That’s discounting yourself. Are you happy with the thought of discounting yourself? Of course not. Nobody is. So, stop doing it. Stop putting what other people say about you into your own self-treatment. As long as you are doing activities that are good for other people and don’t break laws and treat yourself and others with respect, there is no time for you to discount yourself or anyone else. Set that good example and hold true to it. We need it so we can live in a world of making good decisions.

Editor’s Note:  Kesli Arcos is a new Cape Fear Voices writer.  We welcome her to the team.