We all attended school and returned home five days a week when we were kids. You wake up, prepare for class, attend it, return home, finish your homework, eat supper, and perhaps engage in extracurricular activities or hang out with friends. We always believed that schools were the safest places for children to be because staff members made sure they were fed and had access to resources. By the conclusion of the year, each child was expected to have surpassed their target. This past May, as my educational chapter came to an end, I made the decision to carry on with my studies. I was afraid to enroll; would this school be the best fit for me; what is the crime rate in the area where the school is located; and will I be safe here? A concern that should never come up when choosing a college.
When I first arrived at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill on August 18th, 2023, I was shocked at how public it was. I expressed my disbelief at the fact that people could go about campus while walking their dogs to other people and my parents. In comparison to my old school, Brunswick County Early College High School, I didn’t like how accessible it was. I explained to my roommate that I couldn’t just wander around my high school’s campus without going through security. Let’s just get through the first week of school at Carolina; perhaps I’m just being neurotic. Now that the first week of classes is done and I’m settling into my new routine and it’s the weekend, I’m getting ready for lessons to start on Monday, August 28, 2023.
I got up on August 28, 2023, and headed to statistics and chemistry class. The bell tower sounded in the morning, and everything was as it should be. Who knew a lovely day could become the worst day of people’s lives. I made the decision to visit the UNC bookstore at 12:30 p.m. to pick up supplies and a covid test because I wasn’t feeling well. I returned to my room to lay my belongings down and prepared to visit the Kenan Chemistry Lab for additional assistance. I quickly received the text “!Alert Carolina! Threatening, armed individual on or around school. Go inside now; avoid windows.” The alert didn’t hit me until I started to hear sirens going off. I soon ran back to my dorm room and looked outside to see what was going on. It’s the second week into school and there’s no way this is happening, it isn’t real, this doesn’t happen, it can’t be happening to us.
I’m calling my mom to tell her what’s going on, I didn’t think it was possible and nothing was reality. Police cars were passing by outside of my window, and I could hear sirens. We have been in a lockdown for one hour, will be in two hours, and are currently in three hours. Friends are messaging me to check on me and to see if I’m okay. They are also trying to determine whether they are in a safe place. Friends are telling me things like “our doors won’t lock,” “my professor walked out,” and “the shooter is next door.” I asked myself “Are my friends ok, will they survive?” as soon as I hung up the phone with my mother. I felt like the sound of the sirens were stuck in my head hours after the event. The unexpected became the reality and I realized that this is the reality we live in.
The following day, we receive an email informing us that Professor Zijie Yan of the Department of Physical Sciences has passed away. My heart plummeted as I realized that someone had just breathed their last and here I was still alive. “I’m still alive, my friends are still alive, but that professor isn’t,” I wondered to myself. I started to take my life more seriously, became more conscious of my surroundings, and now I continuously scan the area and check my phone for any updates. I now live in fear. If it happened to them, it could happen to me because if it happened once, it could happen again. When will everyone feel secure at school, the place that is supposed to feel safe?
I wonder what the next steps are as I, along with many others, process this catastrophe. Will we ever again leave buildings unsecured during the day? Are we going to establish barriers between the public and the students? Are we going to forbid anyone from entering any structures? Will we install locks that lock on the doors of the classrooms? Will we let instructors and students know what to do in an emergency? As a result of the notifications not being in their language, many non-English speaking students were unaware of the situation and many instructors and students were unsure of what to actually do. Yes, lockdown drills at past schools have taught us a little bit about what to do, but we don’t really know what to do in a true life-or-death situation.
How will Carolina act? Will they simply hold out hope that no one remembers? How will other schools respond to this circumstance? Now that it has happened, will other schools take security more seriously, or will they continue to pray it doesn’t happen to them? When it does occur to other schools inadvertently, how will they respond? How will educators and learners respond if it occurs to them? When will we make the necessary changes to prevent history from repeating itself? We are taught history in the educational system because, as the saying goes, “if we learn history we are not doomed to repeat it.” So, when will America act to address gun safety and violence? You are destined to repeat the history of school shootings because you haven’t gained knowledge regarding it. What is the next step toward safety and how do we move forward? What are you going to do as a learner or teacher next?
Update: September 13, 2023 at 12:56pm, Alert Carolina Armed, dangerous person on or near campus. Go inside now: avoid windows. Yep, you are right, another lockdown at Chapel Hill two weeks after the shooting on August 28, 2023. When will it stop, when will we learn, when will we make a change. Will I be writing this update next time or will I be running for my life or possibly laying dead on the floor?
