Hello, I’m Elroy , Elf First Class, early Christmas investigator and wish grantor. I work for the big guy. He’s well known by travelling the world over on Christmas eve. He also spends part of October and November reading requests for toys and gifts, what we elves call the kid segment. The rest of the time we focus on the supposedly non-believers, the young adults to senior citizens. That’s my beat.
The admin staff identifies bona fide possible recipients for the off Christmas season. It works this way; we get requests from the wish list network sort of like ESP. Let’s say you need something and you wish for it. That wish is transferred to the wish clearance department. Not all wishes are investigated because there are some wishes we will not work with, let’s just say we don’t do anything the big guy wouldn’t do himself. That still leaves a lot lee way.
I remember the politician, an US Senator. He was losing in the polls and wanted some dirt on his opponent. That wish would never be granted, we don’t rig elections unless it is related to Christmas, we try to keep our reputation any way possible. Well, I did investigate this US Senator. He had a significant speech impairment. I recommended granting a correction to the impediment. The US Senator still lost the election. It turns out with his speech cleared up the voters finally were able understand his platform which they overwhelmingly disliked.
There was the belly dancer, who wanted some enhancements. The big guy handled that personally. I saw her later and let’s just say bada boom! Right now, I have a new assignment. Billy Steward is a high school student in Akron, Ohio. An investigation can be done incognito or full interaction mode with the wisher. The incognito method is the preferred option. It keeps liability at a
manageable level. We don’t get sued but the big guy does not like to be embarrassed. The big guy makes everyone miserable if something back fires. You just don’t want to be on his naughty list!
I have chosen to do this case in person. We need much more information to evaluate the requirements. Being part of the Sleigh Fast Transport System(SFTS) helps me move around more efficiently. I will appear to Billy as a sophomore in high school. This means pimples and dorky hair. I watch Billy for a while then approach him at lunch. I follow him to his table. His is alone and looks about as happy as someone who sucked on a lemon and was punched in the nose. I introduce myself as Roy, I ask him why the long face. He looked at me like “why do you care?” Here I use one of my many talents to exude empathy which bypasses all the back and forth that would have been needed to gain his trust. We elves are sneaky like that.
Billy told me he was on the junior varsity basketball team. He had been working hard to get a try out for the varsity team. He attended basketball camp last summer and practiced every day to get that chance. His dad said he would do anything he could to attend his first varsity game. He points out that his dad made that promise before he was deployed to parts unknown. Josh, Billy’s dad, is deployed to the Middle East. Billy was called into the coach’s office yesterday. The coach discussed Billy’s last game. He told Billy he has noticed the improved leadership on the court and
wanted him to participate in the next varsity practice. Dick Ebart, star guard, turned his ankle tearing a ligament. “If” the practice goes well, then maybe Billy can be added to the team roster for Saturday’s tournament. I ask Billy what’s the problem? You should be happy. He is happy to get the chance but he wanted his dad to be able to attend. He is on duty in the Middle East.
After school, I decide to find out if the kid was any good. I go to incognito mode. No one can see me but I got to make sure I don’t bump into someone. That reminds me once when I was in incognito mode and I ran into Dolly Parton. She was wearing an elaborate costume and I got caught up in it. It took some contorting to get lose. I watch Billy go through practice trying to keep up with the team execution. As practice advanced so did Billy. He was a quick study, even the coach pulled him aside to discuss his practice, the coach was smiling.
After practice was over, coach handed Billy a team uniform with his own number. He was on the varsity team! He told his mom the good news and how he was also disappointed dad would not be there. That night mom and Billy talked to Josh about Billy’s big chance. Josh was impressed with Billy’s hard work and accomplishment. Josh wanted to hear all about the game. I got Josh’s contact information. The next day, I used another identity as a Captain in the army. I approached the tournament management to get a possible way to fulfil Billy’s wish to have dad attend.
On game day, Billy warmed up with the team. He was nervous but confident Mom was in the stands waving at him. The teams were at their bench getting last minute instructions. The announcer blared out across the arena. “Ladies and gentlemen, our next game will have a much bigger audience as we will have a military unit joining us. I direct your attention to the score board. Captain Josh Steward’s unit will be able to watch today’s games. Captain Steward is the father of Billy Steward, guard on General High School team. We are proud to announce we will be transmitting this game to the Middle East.” Billy was awe struck his dad’s face was looking down at him. Billy waved back. The ref whistled to bring out the teams and tossed the ball up for the tip off.
Well, this wish is in the bag. Billy did play for 4 minutes. He scored 2 points and had 1 assist. The team did not win but it was a success in every term I will be measured on. Wins are up to the team. The big guy is going to love the results of this wish. I did the final two things I needed to close this wish out. The first is, to leave a memory in Billy’s brain that will attribute the wish to the big guy. He won’t understand it as a hard fact but will recall it as a vague memory. The second is the paper work, There’s always the paper work.
I challenge you to think back, is there a memory that sticks out that does not seem possible but you believe it happened? That was possibly an elf granting you a wish. Have a nice life!
