Ahhh… identity, the most important thing when it comes to verifying yourself whether it is for a job, school, medical appointment, law enforcement, or etc. It’s just a simple answer of what your name, date of birth, and sometimes gender, or last 4 digits of your social security number right? Not in today’s world, it isn’t just that simple. We have made it more complicated over time and I’m sure there will be more added as time goes on.

Yes, we still ask for your name, DOB, etc., but now we have a longer list to fill out. Gender, now there are more than two options (the typical male or female), we also ask for sexuality now (although I don’t understand what our sexuality has to deal with whatever we are filling out), along with that is religion, languages spoken, are you latino, are you a people of color, or a minority, etc. The main point is, again, we went from a simple name, DOB, and last four numbers of your socials to telling almost everything about yourself before filling out the rest of the paperwork or verification. At this point I might as well start listing any of my fears, anxiety, insecurities, and whatever I feel is needed to help identify myself. Besides the things that I listed, what is identity and what is my identity?

Identity is the qualities, beliefs, personality traits, appearance, and/or expressions that characterizes the person or group. While growing up I always thought my identity was “Hi my name is Margie Steve, I am a female, my birthday is July xx, #*%@, and the last digits of my social security are $#*%@”. Now my identity is “Hi my name is Margie Steve, I am a female, my birthday is July xx, #*%@, I am Chinese and was adopted in 2010 from China, I am a Christian, and I am straight (we will just skip social security this time).

Okay so that’s my identity, but which ones matter to me along with intersectionality? This can vary for everyone as everyone is different and have their own backgrounds. Personally for me, my sexuality does not really matter to me because I am straight, there’s no need for me to feel a sense of belonging when it comes to sexuality. What does matter to me is how others think of me, no not in that way. I don’t care if people don’t like the shirt that I am wearing, but I do care about how others think of me when my name gets mentioned or when they see me. Does the person see me as a respectful, kind, honest, funny, determined person or disrespectful, rude, liar, or not responsible?

Quick ADHD moment… some of you may have realized that I did not include pronouns as a part of my identity. The reason I never mentioned it is because it didn’t come to my mind when I was writing this at the moment. I mean yes I could’ve gone back and added it and you would have never known, but I wanted to keep it real. I am not against pronouns, I am just a female who was never exposed to any of this until junior year of high school (it was only 3 years ago, gosh I just cringed). The thing is there are a lot of people who never grew up in this type of society and now we are exposing people to dig deeper into their identity. There are definitely perks to learning more about what makes up your identity, but there are also some downsides to having little kids being exposed to sexuality and/or pronouns. What is a good age to allow people to be aware of these things and be curious about it? I am still learning about the differences in sexuality, pronouns, genders, and just overall learning about people.

Alright let’s get back on track with this article (please stand by as I regather my thoughts). Another important factor that plays a role in my identity is how I was raised by my parents (or should I say my mom, she wore the belt in the family, but don’t tell my dad that). As I am becoming more independent, I realize that I have been able to deal with certain situations because of how I was raised. I am able to be respectful to people who may not be the kindest and intelligent person in the world (I may not want to, but… as mother always says “just because you can doesn’t mean you should”), or being able to get along with others who I may not agree with (I have 12 siblings and I will just leave it there).

My interests would be work and family, I need money and I need family (well mainly probably just my mom). Work is something that I am constantly doing and I am hoping that it will pay off one day when I become a doctor. Family is important because I don’t have a social life or have enough confidence to make lasting friends (social anxiety is real guys) which is why I am happy to write this behind a screen, but also probably no one has read this all the way until now. Anyway, that’s why family is important because I don’t want to be alone. Also how else am I going to get free home cooked meals, who else would I cuddle in bed with if my mom wasn’t there (I’m not weird, I promise its just hard to explain).

My race doesn’t really matter to me, I mean my parents are white so… there’s not much to say about that. Do I like putting that I am Asian on paperwork though? Absolutely and love to brag that English wasn’t my first language, it was Mandarin Chinese (no I don’t speak it anymore sadly). Class also doesn’t really matter to me because we are broke. I’m sorry for being straight out but I am 20 years old and currently have $184.68 in my checking account and yes I did just indeed check my account and was appalled.

Overall, I guess I have never really dug into what my identity is and what makes me who I am truly. I don’t even know what I like or don’t like, well I like seafood, sushi, and money, but other than that I have no idea. I do not know who my favorite artists are, my hobbies (besides watching Tiktok’s and Instagram reels), favorite movie and/or TV shows, basically any ice breaker questions. Well I am not sure if anyone learned anything from this article or if this was just me rambling about a topic in my head. Either way, do some self-discovery and ask yourself what is your true identity. It is totally fine if you don’t have one; create one starting now. No, seriously, like now, pick up a pen and paper and start writing.