This article was originally published on We Are, The Student Media Site of William Clarke College, Sydney, Australia, and it is republished here with permission as part of Teen Scene, Inc.’s international student voice partnership. 

As an immigrant in Australia, I have gone through the painful bullying present everywhere in the system. There is no escape from harsh bullying due to the way I speak or the comments about me simply because I look different from most people. I can’t control the way I look and yet everyone seems to think I sold my soul and am now subhuman. To me, this is an integral problem with Australia, how can a nation that holds itself to such a high regard collapse on those who move to this perceived great country?

Australians are the type of people to shrug things off their shoulders, nothing is really a problem to most people, but they seem to have a strange obsession with causing as much pain as possible without fully killing you. Yes, I may still be emotionally alive, but with my toes chopped off, my bowel movements blocked, and my limbs all hacked and mangled metaphorically speaking. It’s been weeks since I used a bathroom, metaphorically speaking, I just can’t dump the emotional load I am carrying with me, metaphorically speaking. This is causing me great pain and suffering especially in my stomach, metaphorically speaking, and I need to release this massive dump.

My personal experience has of course gone relatively smoothly as would be expected from a person as socially talented as myself. This, however, does not make what I went through acceptable, you simply cannot treat your fellow humans this way and still feel your humanity fully intact. What I am of course talking about is every time I have walked up to someone and started talking to them about my experience and they responded by calling me names like narcotic and selfless. My conclusion is that Australians are all too far up the Emu’s butts to see the important things in their lives, like me, and can only focus on their little useless selves. This superiority complex is exactly why I support my country’s plan to destroy the Australian populous. My plan in the meantime to overcome this problem is to give every immigrant who comes to Australia a megaphone that they are permitted to use whenever they feel like the topic has shifted to something less interesting than them.

Since I arrived here, the residents have tried to hurt my confidence and make me worry about what people would think about the things I say. With my self-confidence of steel, I have withstood these attacks and persevered. But the never-ending onslaught of negativity permeating the air around me has worn down my mighty armour; although I am immune to this foolish lack of confidence it has grown quite annoying, like, stop complaining about your stupid problems, I don’t care if your dog died, I don’t care if you once fell down a thirty-metre cliff. Like, what even is a metre? How many Big Macs is that? This lack of empathy has led me to feel deep distress and I hope that I will soon shed this heavy weight that has been placed on my shoulders.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, how can I help this poor man and destroy this obviously abusive country that is stopping him from shining his brightest? My advice to you is to subscribe to my Free 20 dollar per month course titled, “Why Red, White, and Blue Are Better than the Other Red, White and Blues” where I teach you the American art of being better than everyone else because we know how to be Redder and Whiter and Bluer than the rest of the world. This course is guaranteed to make you better than the people around you, the only side effect being they probably will still think they are superior because they are stupid. I recommend you remember this quote by Mandy Hale, “If someone treats you badly, just remember that there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don’t go around destroying other human beings.” This shows us the stupidity in the people around us for not accepting their obvious inferiority, they are not, “Normal people” and are in fact evil. The obvious conclusion to this is that we must exterminate this evil from the world.