The other day I was listening to the radio as I drove to the bank.  The announcer posed some interesting questions that I haven’t been able to get out of my head.   He said to think seriously about the answers to these questions and try to make them goals for 2025.

The first question was, what do I want to have accomplished by the end of my life?  Next, was what do I want to really accomplish in 2025?  And finally, if I only had a month to live, how would I spend that month?

As I grow deeper into my 70’s, I find myself wishing I hadn’t wasted time on frivolous things   because there are so many important things I have wanted to accomplish that remain undone.

So, what do I want to have accomplished by the end of my life?  You can look at this question in so many ways.  From a professional aspect, I think I have accomplished what I wanted.  I had a successful career at some of the top companies in the country.  I became a published author, and I mentored young business professionals as well as middle and high school children.

From a personal perspective, I wish I had been a better mother and wife.  I didn’t have a good role model in either position and I struggled with communication issues that didn’t bode well for anyone in my family.  I grew up learning that if someone stepped on your foot, it wasn’t an accident—it was a blatant gesture and I should “take no prisoners,” in how I handled the person who did it.   I learned that you never say you are sorry, because you had a valid reason for what you did or said.  If you did say you were sorry, that statement was immediately followed up with the word, “but,” so that you could state your valid reason for why you didn’t have to apologize in the first place.

I learned that children have no voice until they are 21 and if they tried to have one, it was going against the total authority of parents and that was wrong.  I learned that higher education was for “suckers” and that I should enter the working world immediately after high school (unless I was getting married, of course,) so I could be four years ahead of my classmates who wasted four years of their lives laying around reading books.  Afterall, seniority is everything in business.

It took me years to figure out how wrong these life lessons were—and I’m still struggling with some of them.  At the end of my life, I may be remembered as someone who wrote well, had a goofy sense of humor, enjoyed music and made people laugh.  I don’t think I will be remembered as a good wife and mother so maybe I can make some amends to that in 2025.

The second question, what do I really want to accomplish in 2025, again can take many different avenues.  I know I want to be healthier; it’s starting the process that is the problem.  I would like to try things that I haven’t done—either ever or in a long time.  Not crazy, jump out of an airplane kind of things, just simple things.  I’d like to take a cooking class with my husband.  I’d like to ride my bike again.  I’d like to paint a birdhouse.  I’d like to sing in a group one more time and hear the blended sounds of voices and music.  I would like to hear my daughter’s voice.

And finally, if I had one month to live, how would I spend that month?  Well, going to the cooking class, riding my bike, painting a bird house, singing and talking to my daughter!  But I would also spend as much time as I could with my husband and our dog.  The sweetest times of my life of late have been sitting on our lanai every night at 5:00 with a glass of wine, a dog treat, music and talking to Tony.  We talk about everything and anything and laugh a great deal.

I would like to give certain possessions to my nieces, nephews and grandchildren.  They may not like jewelry as much as I do, but I want them to have something of mine that I loved.

I would like to say, “I’m sorry,” to those that I have hurt over the years, without the word “but,” after the apology.

I would like to see the ocean one last time and hear the waves singing to the shore.

I would like to go to a United Church of Christ one more time.  The closest one to where we live is hours away.  It is my religion and while I may not wear jewelry that is a nod to the denomination or skip meat on Friday, it is important to me.

I would like to ensure that Tony is OK.  I’m not sure how I would do that in a month, but I would try.

Joe Cocker asked in his song, “Up Where We Belong,” “Who knows what tomorrow brings?”  The answer is no one but God, so we have to live life to the fullest–every day.

And so, that is my 2025 roadmap.  I suck at reading maps, but for this one, I will try my best.