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Cape Fear Voices/The Teen Scene

Cape Fear Voices/The Teen Scene

Cape Fear Voices/The Teen Scene

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The Seasons of My Life

Over the years, I have heard many people talk about their age. Referring to his love of golf, a man I knew who was nearing retirement age told me that he was “on the back nine” of his life. Throughout her life, my mother used to say, “there is nothing more cruel to a woman than age.” But my father looked at age in a totally different way. He used to say, “there may be snow on the rooftop, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t fire in the furnace.” And even musician, Yoko Ono, weighed in on age. She said, “Spring passes, and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes, and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes, and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes, and one remembers one’s perseverance.” As we creep back to some level of normalcy in the world, I decided to explore the seasons of my own life.

In the Spring of my life, I was young and happy. Days went quickly by, and the world around me entertained me. I had no worries or responsibilities, and the game of “Life” was one big playground. I swung at the clouds and discovered the thrill of speed on two wheels. I learned something new every day, and I knew that springtime was the best time of my life. 

In the summer of my life, I found true love, and that love lasted until the next school year when I found a true love all over again. I danced and flirted and saw boys scan my body as I grew older. I marched across a stage in my cap and gown and hoped that school rooms would give way to dorm rooms, but that was not to be. National Guard guns and books are not a good mix. I went to work, but my passion was still books and pens. 

I found my real true love, who left me alone after a few short years. He left me with a little girl who had brilliant red hair and eyes that are the color of North Carolina skies in the summer. As I struggled to raise her, I found that I was always tired—always stressed. I had worries and responsibilities, and this time, the game of “Life” was real. I struggled, I fell, I cried. I railed against God, but one day I grew up, I stood up, I stopped crying, and found my strength. I started college in a non-traditional way. I learned something new every day, and I knew that the summertime was the best time of my life.

In the fall of my life, I found the person that God always intended for me. The love we share is like a beautiful warm blanket on a cold night. He is not only caring but a wonderful caregiver. He is kind and funny and treated my little girl like his own. In being part of a team, I found peace in my life that had escaped me for so long. I was happy and successful and looked forward to each day and what it taught me. I helped people achieve their goals and, in doing so, found that I was achieving more than I ever imagined I could. I learned something new every day, and I knew that the fall was the best time of my life. 

And now, winter is my season. I’ve stopped setting my alarm clock to get up early in the morning, approaching the day at a slower pace. I listen to quiet music and sounds and celebrate the colors around me that adorn our home. The children are grown, replacing themselves with children of their own, starting the cycle all over again. I don’t do power lunches anymore; I spend time on our lanai watching birds and bunnies investigate our yard as they claim it as their own. I am at peace in these walls with life and myself. Men don’t scan my body anymore, not like they did when I was twenty-four, but that doesn’t bother me because the lines and bumps that define me represent all seasons of my life, the highs and the lows. 

It is the winter of my life. I am playing the final round of the game of “Life,” and I know, I just know that winter will have been the best time of my life.

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About the Contributor
Jan Morgan-Swegle is the Editor of Cape Fear Voices.  She has been writing for CFV for almost 3 years.  She is originally from the Cleveland area and moved down to Leland 12 years ago.  She and her husband, Tony, and their dog, Dixie, enjoy sitting on the lanai listening to music and sharing wine (Dixie likes white wine but only gets two finger tips full!!)  They have 3 children and 9 grandchildren living in Cleveland, Ohio,  Charlotte, North Carolina and Lakeland, Florida.

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