Yes, friends; you knew I would, at some point, talk about sweet tea. I love it, was raised up on it, and it is a big part of my day. My doctor told me last year that it would be in my best interest to stop  drinking tea as it may not be good for my kidneys (and I didn’t need the caffeine). Well, sir . . .that very day I began to drink it like there might be no more tea made in the very near future. How dare me!

My mama made sweet tea daily by the half-gallon in a white plastic jug with red strawberries on it. She made it very sweet; almost syrupy sweet (my daddy said once when she was out of earshot – he knew his place when it came to food and drink in that house).  I drank it and liked it but as I grew older and had my own kitchen, I didn’t sweeten my tea quite as much. And now as I am even older, I don’t use sugar at all but Splenda. Yes, I am possibly addicted to tea sweetened with Splenda.

Last year there was a lot of noise about artificial sweeteners affecting the heart. Now way back when, we were told about the cancerous dangers of aspartame. And yes, I stopped drinking anything with aspartame and did not use it. Probably haven’t used it in over 30 years. But I digress.

Back to sweeteners affecting our hearts . . . I read continuously online every article on this subject to make sure Splenda was not on that terrifyingly frightful list. I am probably making up words as I go along.  And to my gratitude and thankfulness to God, truly, I was ecstatic to find out that Splenda did not make that list. I was beyond happy. My joy was endless and so were my glasses of tea.

I realized just today that I have consumed almost a half gallon of tea. I stood there before the jug in the refrigerator, wondering where it went and knowing full well it was in my stomach or had already gone by the way of the septic tank. I thought to myself, “Lisa, you have got to stop drinking so much tea.” But Lisa just grabbed her favorite glass out of the cupboard and filled it to the rim.

I love to sip tea while writing and studying and reading and cleaning and organizing and talking on the phone and texting and emailing. I know in my heart that I must curtail this constant swigging of the southern concoction I so love. I need to limit myself to 3 glasses a day, perhaps.

A friend recently asked me if I was addicted to the tea itself or to the caffeine in the tea. I shooed her away from the subject and plowed into a spiel about the weather and how I longed for spring. With eyebrows raised, my friend stated that she thought it was the caffeine. I talked over that remark by stating that our current weatherperson was calling for colder weather soon and she raised her eyebrows yet again. And I knew right at that moment, at that very moment, she was admonishing me. ME! Her sister in Christ, her best friend, her confidant. Her tea-drinking, son of a gun friend of over 50 years.

I have been admonished over the tea guzzling by my son, my fiancée, my hairdresser, my doctor, my lawyer, my cousin and my sister-in-law. They are coming at me from all sides and all walks of life and, bless my soul, I just know they are all talking about me behind my back. Well, I will visit my doctor in April. She is a wonderful person and fantastic physician, and I am so afraid she will ask me about the tea. I don’t want to see the narrowing of her eyes or any brows raised into her hairline.

Do I lie or tell the gospel truth? What would my pastor say? My family? My friends? I wonder if she can tell how much tea I swig through my blood test?

Sigh.

I am probably in certain trouble with no chance to escape reproving. I cannot tell a lie (didn’t I write about that last month?). I will tell her the truth with lowered eyes, scuffing a tennis shoe on the floor, sticking my hands in the pockets of my jeans, hoping for forgiveness.

And a pill to take that will put to death this strong, ongoing desire to drink tea.  Oh boy, am I grasping at straws now.