During the course of my career, I was lucky enough to work with some wonderful people.  Some were kind, some were funny, and some were really dedicated to advancing in their careers and those were the people that brought me the most joy.  If I saw someone with potential, I mentored them to help them move up and be successful.

Back then, a young lady who worked for me named Kristen often joked about my appearance and likened me to the character, ‘Kitty Montgomery,’ in the TV program, “Dharma And Greg.”  Kitty played Greg’s rich mother, who was always impeccably dressed and tended to look down on people who weren’t as well off as she.   While I didn’t look down on others, I admit, I was picky when it came to people who represented me in the organization.  I required that they look and act in a certain way.  I was serious about my career and wanted everyone to know that.  While other managers would dress up at Halloween, I would come to work in my usual attire—a business suit, my hair styled, jewelry and high heels.  When people joked and asked me what my Halloween costume was, I would respond, “the same as it is every day—haughty bitch.”  Some laughed, but I gained the reputation of being a good people manager who was “firm but fair.”

I recently, had an “It’s A Wonderful Life,” moment that brought all of this back to me.  Many years ago, when I worked with Kristen  I could see she had potential but being tardy, not dressing in a professional manner and her quick wit often worked against her, leaving others with the impression that while she may have potential, she just didn’t care about how she was perceived or her job in general.

I believed that she did care and that her “off the cuff” manner had more to do with being afraid that she would fail.  I started working with her and even went shopping with her to pick out clothes more appropriate to the positions to which she aspired.  One of them was a tweed blazer.  The minute she put it on, she changed.  Her posture got better, she held her head high and she looked like a woman in charge.  She wore that jacket like Superman wore his cape.

I helped her with her resume and refined her other skills.  She had the right skillsets; she just didn’t know how to use them.

I am sad to say that we both moved on and lost track of each other—until a few days ago.  There was an email in the Cape Fear Voices Editor’s mailbox with a message line that referenced Kitty Montgomery.  No one had called me that in years, so I knew exactly who it was from.

It turns out that Kristen was going through her closet to donate clothes to a local college’s “Dress for Success” event and found the tweed blazer.  She started to think about our friendship and reached out to me after she “Googled” me and found an article that I wrote that appeared in Cape Fear Voices.   We have since reconnected and I am glad to know that she is helping other women in their quest for success.   I know that jacket will help someone else reach their potential and I am proud of the career success that Kristen achieved over the years.  She now owns her own business, writing and editing copy for business websites.

Just the thought of someone remembering me from so long ago is touching and humbling and I am so glad she reached out to me. Kristen reminded me that there is power in words, and we should use them to better understand and help people.  It’s easy to ignore or belittle others, but you never know what a few kind words and some encouragement can do for a person until they reach for the stars and actually grab a few!

Here is Kristen’s message to me, it makes me cry every time I read it.

Jan, How are you?!   I think about you not infrequently and wonder how you are, but a few weeks ago, I was cleaning out my closet for the local college’s “Dress for Success” program and I finally had to admit that my beautiful tweed blazer was too small and no longer fit me.

I told my husband about how you took me shopping, bought me the blazer, reviewed and helped me write my resume, and set me up for success.  I wouldn’t have gotten the job at AMR without you, and without the job at AMR, I wouldn’t have met him. 

I told him how much I learned from you and what a fabulous mentor you were to me, and I was kicking myself because I had no idea what happened to our friendship.  I couldn’t remember the last time we spoke or exchanged emails and I don’t really remember how we drifted apart but I was sad that we had.  He asked how long it had been since we talked, and I just about shrieked when I realized it was nearly 20 years! 

I look forward to catching up.

I hope that Kristen can get the name of the person at the “Dress for Success” event who receives her tweed jacket, for I know that jacket has power and whoever has it, is destined for success.  I would like to watch her from afar and cheer her on.