I sit in the dark

Eye to eye with the stuffed animals moved 3 years ago

the same time I was made aware that I should be embarrassed

About having stuffed animals on my bed at 15

I can’t quite grasp what brought me here

On the floor, nose to nose with the storage bin I have them sitting on

Because up to this point, I couldn’t bring myself to move them to the floor

But the more I look, the more I see them looking back

I wonder

If after all these years

Sitting all alone, watching the world turn

They still feel the same way as me

Shoved to one side

No longer lovable

I wonder what they think they did wrong

I want to tell them that It wasn’t them, it was me

And I am sorry

But that’s almost worse than making eye contact with stuffed animals

Sitting alone in the dark

So instead

I take down everyone

and hug it

Hoping that in this

they can feel how sorry I am,

For growing up

And changing as much as I have

And as I put them back away,

organized exactly as they were before,

facing the center of the room

I swear they look a little less sad