I sit in the dark
Eye to eye with the stuffed animals moved 3 years ago
the same time I was made aware that I should be embarrassed
About having stuffed animals on my bed at 15
I can’t quite grasp what brought me here
On the floor, nose to nose with the storage bin I have them sitting on
Because up to this point, I couldn’t bring myself to move them to the floor
But the more I look, the more I see them looking back
I wonder
If after all these years
Sitting all alone, watching the world turn
They still feel the same way as me
Shoved to one side
No longer lovable
I wonder what they think they did wrong
I want to tell them that It wasn’t them, it was me
And I am sorry
But that’s almost worse than making eye contact with stuffed animals
Sitting alone in the dark
So instead
I take down everyone
and hug it
Hoping that in this
they can feel how sorry I am,
For growing up
And changing as much as I have
And as I put them back away,
organized exactly as they were before,
facing the center of the room
I swear they look a little less sad
