Author’s note:

My lack of capitalization is an artistic choice. I keep it that way to show the thought process. It also helps to connect with people my age. Most things on social media and things that we interact with are less formally written, so I feel as if it is more relatable. 

pyromaniac by definition is “a person with an obsessive desire to set things on fire.”

i’ve been told that i should claim this title as my own.

as if my obsession with the flames, automatically means

i wish to watch the world burn down with a smile on my face.

but i don’t think that title belongs to me.

i’m sure there are others, 

who can proudly wear that like a name tag. 

but i don’t think it’s me.

my name and the word pyromaniac aren’t meant to be with each other.

it’s never about wanting to set things on fire.

i long to see the flames.

but that seldom leads to me leaving things ablaze.

i wish to be the fire. 

i yearn to be able to boldly claim my space like the flame does.

i want to leave an impression on the world the same way a fire leaves charred objects in its path.

i hope to be as beautiful as the orange and yellow hues that a fire gives to anything around it. 

i wish to be the ember.

still there even after the fire burns out. 

ready and awaiting the moment it can show its beauty again.

i want to be both feared and admired.