It all started in 2006. Ianna T. was born. If you were wondering who that is, it’s me. I don’t remember much from those days but it all started when I turned 11. I started to understand what life was like. I started to feel alive and understand why people do things the way that they do or how they say things a certain way.
I got my first phone at this age and started to learn what social media was. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I started making new accounts and texting random people. I never really cared about anything other than what was on my phone. When I turned thirteen, I got the iPhone that I had been begging my dad for, for years. I was so tired of being the only kid in my class with an android. I was so tired of being bullied and looked at differently because I didn’t have an iPhone. I couldn’t wait to go to school the next day and show everyone my new phone. I posted all over social media how I got a new phone and even stayed up until three AM waiting for everything to transfer onto the new phone. Not only did I get an iPhone but I got the newest one that had just come out. At this point, I thought I was the coolest person ever.
Then I got into high school. Everything was different. None of that mattered anymore. It didn’t matter what phone you had. It didn’t matter how you looked or what you wore. If someone wanted to mess with you and pick on you, they were going to. You could be the best-looking person on this planet and they would still find something to pick at. When I got into high school, I learned how to ignore pretty much everything. I stuck to myself and did what I needed to do to get out of that school. I was always so tired yet never did anything.
My freshman year I got into a relationship. At this point I was young, so I didn’t see it going anywhere. But it lasted three years. I was in it for almost the entirety of high school. At this point, I didn’t know what love was, but I was slowly learning how to love someone. While learning how to love someone I forgot how to love myself. I became very depressed. I felt like I was in a hole that I just couldn’t get myself out of. But at the end of my junior year, me and this boy broke up. I was heartbroken and didn’t know what I was going to do at this point. He was the only person I ever talked to. Over the summer me and him got back in contact and became friends. We were friends up until December of 2023.
In December we completely lost contact and wanted nothing to do with each other. At this point, I was still really lost. I didn’t know who I was as a person. I didn’t know how to cope with my feelings or who to talk to. But then I became very close with these two girls that are a grade below me. They were always there for me. They always had my back when I was down. You’re probably wondering, “Why is she still talking about this relationship?” Well, this relationship made me who I am today. I have learned my self-worth and I have learned to never put anyone before myself. I’m turning 18 in a few weeks. None of that matters anymore. I don’t care what kind of phone I have. I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t care what I look like when I go out. I don’t care that there are new social media platforms. It’s all irrelevant.
As you get older you start to understand what people mean when they say to be thankful for what you have, not upset because you don’t have something. You realize that when you were 11, getting picked on for having an android, means nothing. When you get older you learn to be grateful for anything and everything that comes your way. My senior year is coming to an end. I now look back at all those days when I just wanted to go home and sit in my bed, those days when I didn’t want to get up and go to school, and I sit here and think…why?
Why didn’t I want to go? Why did I just want to sit in my bed? I wish I could go back and change it all. I wish I could go back for one day and rethink what I was doing and be grateful for what I had. In the end, I’m very excited to graduate and start this new journey. Never take anything for granted. Everything happens for a reason. Just pick yourself back up and keep pushing.