Remember the excitement as a child counting the days until your birthday? My generation anticipated yummy cake, ice cream and gifts from family and friends to celebrate the special day with a party in our honor. Waiting was agony until our birthday arrived. Dressed in our party clothes, we welcomed guests and swooned over each gift handed to us. Prize-winning games, like “pin the tail on the donkey” and “musical chairs” were played by attendees before the grand appearance of our spectacular birthday cake adorned with lighted candles denoting our age. Guests sang Happy Birthday as we made our secret wish. With a single puff, the candles were extinguished, our wish would come true, and partygoers savored the delicious birthday dessert with us.
Several birthdays became milestone events, celebrated with added fanfare. Some of us celebrated traditional female puberty rituals with a Debutante Ball, Jewish Bat Mitzvah, Hispanic Quinceañera, or something simpler. Our sixteenth birthday ushered in the privilege of obtaining a driver’s permit which allowed dating minus the chaperone chauffeur father. Then our eighteenth birthday opened doors to college for some, work for others, or the dreaded draft for young men not enrolled in college. Some turned the call to military service into their careers while others sacrificed their lives for our freedom. Our
twenty-first birthday thrust us into adulthood, ready or not, and birthdays would never be quite the same.
Some of us found careers after completing college, others moved away from home, and some married, started families, and raised children. For those of us with children, our family’s birthdays took precedence over our own, but we continued to enjoy the cake and ice cream. As time advanced, we hoped no one would remember we were about to become a year older. When we were young, we wanted time to speed up; now we want it to slow down. No matter how we tried to avoid adding another year to our age, someone, family or friend, remembered to decorate a cake and light the appropriate number of candles. One day we realized the problem with middle age is we outlived it.
Was it our imagination or was our birthday cake getting smaller? All those candles burning on top of the cake make the cake appear diminutive. Now the candles cost more than the cake and we must keep a fire extinguisher handy. We console ourselves by thinking at least we are not as old as we will be next year. A loved one hugs us and whispers, “The more birthdays you have, the longer you live!” Maybe, we
think to ourselves, but too many birthdays result in a life-threatening experience.
Our newest birthday plan is to laugh at our age and simply enjoy the party. The wrinkles and gray hair don’t matter anymore. We are mature people, secure in who we are, and still at our youthful best in our mind’s eye. We conquered unimaginable obstacles throughout our lives. Age, in the form of candles unable to fit on top of our birthday cake this year, is nothing in comparison with our accomplishments. Like we have done throughout our lives, we can fix it. Stick a few candles in the side of the cake. Problem solved.
What do birthdays signify at this stage of the journey? We have survived to be the oldest we have ever been on our adventure through life. Every day we should celebrate our good health and being alive. Our long life granted us time to love and be loved, time to savor life, gain wisdom, and share our insights. The actor and comedian George Burns said it best: “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” So, bring on more birthdays!