What sagacity does it take to realize I am lost?

The feelings I get when I soak in the nutrients of the earth,

Like how impressionable we are, whether it’s vital or volatile.

Crashing in life’s labyrinth, finding the way out.

Sometimes I wish I stayed.

Just trying to live, take in every last freeing breath

Before it’s lost back into people who are

Abundantly found.

What sagacity does it take to realize how destructive I am?

Calling myself a sick dog at any moment, I strive

Tied to a leash of thorned chains, crying for life’s mercy.

Now I am on a marathon of living, running away from life,

Knowing it isn’t worth escaping; rather, finding its clarity.

Yet when herself (earth) is nothing but unclear,

It is then I realize how much of a pacifist I try to be.

Yet we are the most destructive.

What sagacity does it take to realize that I was once innocent?

Trying to suppress those feelings lost so long ago,

Trying to untie my angel’s wings,

Yet I knew never sacred but sunk so low.

Those small moments of life,

Those beautiful moments, I danced like 4-leaf clovers.

Now I fight against sin and strife,

Lingering on, knowing eventually it’d be all over.

What sagacity does it take to realize I was once pure?

Among those sidewalks of life, I’ve walked.

Those knees I scraped, those shedded tears,

Those pits of concrete where she and I talked.

And those condensing shards drew near

Now my mind and sagacity were unlocked.

When would I ever feel this way again?

Or should I be saying, when will the rebirth begin?

(How I look like a fly

That’s had its wings pulled off.

It’s like I never had them at all.

How I still tried to fly

And yet I laughed,

Knowing one day, my wings

Will be replaced by a crown of shards.

I look away and laugh at the wicked,

Knowing I won’t see them again.

Maybe my wings are gone and chained,

But when they lead to the bottomless pit of hell,

They’ll know what real chains will be.)