We met our across -the -street neighbor Edith three years ago, she was 97 years old. Like almost of the people we’ve met in North Carolina, she came from North (New York.) Along with her in the home were three kin, her granddaughter and husband, a teenage granddaughter and two dogs, one small and one huge.
It’s funny how much or little one can know about a person, these are my other Edith tidbits. She was the keeper-of-the-mail, weather watcher and, by her own admission, on her way out.
Edith had lots of family, and in Brunswick County alone, there were four generations including her. She dressed well – pastels were her favorite. Being devoutly religious I could easily picture her in a Minnie Pearl type hat on Easter day. She was a smallish woman beaten down by the aging process but still active.
One day she saw me unloading my golf clubs and gave me a half wave. I went over and she told me that she missed golfing but that the game will bite you in the ass. We laughed and she never forgot that connection. Any decent day she’d ask me; did you play today?
On the other hand, I never knew her last name or if she had worked or what her favorite foods were or what shows she watched. Back to what I do know.
Edith liked to sit in the shade on her porch on her walker/seat and watch for passersby. Sometimes she was awake-other times not. Last year, she took a particular interest in the destruction and rebuilding of our front yard. She got a kick out of watching me get soaked when moving sprinklers around. It felt so good to see her smile.
She was a smallish woman beaten down by the aging process but still active. Another ritual was walking laps around our loop at first with a cane and later with the stroller. Every day she was feeling able, there she’d be head bent determined to make the goal. The goal of making it to 100. From what I could tell her vision was good and her wits were about her. The hearing -way was better than you’d guess . She was to the core a no-nonsense woman who told you how it was. Ask her a question- you’d get an answer.
Whenever we left town, I’d make sure to tell her where we were going. And without exception she told me she would ’watch the joint’ and have a good time. When we returned, she’d give me the lowdown and ask how was vacation? She even mentioned once that she missed her husband and that they had traveled and had lots of good times. It was a crack in the armor moment.
Either way, about a year ago she was in hospice care and the parade of nurses and immediate family visited her daily. Occasionally I’d see her getting into a car for a ride. As she approached her 100th birthday the walks became shorter and the naps longer. But she still sat like a sentinel when feeling okay.
Finally, that big day came, and we got a card and some balloons, and with our neighbors in tow, loped across the street for the first time in three years knocked on their door. Unfortunately, Edith wasn’t feeling well and fading fast. Maybe she’d be out later. The next day she died. We were told that she loved the card and balloons.
I never thought about our relationship until a few days later when I kept looking over to see her in her spot. That little porch looks big and my stomach aches until I remembered what she told me a while back- I’m good with dying, I’ve had a full life.
To a peaceful everlasting
J.F Gozzi
