The term “Bucket List” is generally credited to writer, producer/director Justin Zackman in 2007 when he was writing the screenplay for the movie “The Bucket List”. Further research, however, actually traces its origin as far back as the 1960’s. If we are to believe that the following story is true, then we need to trust the research!
Somewhere in the south, about 50 years or so ago, lived a nice old man named Oscar. Oscar was in his golden years, as they say, and hung-out most days with his 3 best buddies Sam, Mort and Benny. They were all neighbors, they were retired, and they spent their days sharing stories from the past and their views of the present. They usually tried their best to solve the problems of the world right there in their lawn chairs!
Occasionally they would walk to town for coffee. They often took the shortcut past the river, then along the train tracks past the old station, past the McGregor farm and through the field to town. One day, Sam took the shortcut, to meet up with Mort for coffee. After a bit of conversation, Mort asked Sam if he’d seen Oscar lately. Sam said that he hadn’t talked with him, but had seen him earlier that day when he passed by the river park. “He was just sitting there leaned up against a tree, probably fishing”. “I yelled to him and waved, but he didn’t hear me”. Mort said: “Yeah, he was fishing there yesterday too, when I walked past”.
A little later, they saw Benny, and the subject came up again. Benny said that he’d also seen old Oscar sitting, leaning up against that tree a couple of days ago! Well, they all looked at one another and decided that they should probably go check on their old friend. As they walked across the green grass toward the river and that big tree, they yelled to Osar, but he didn’t answer. And so it was that the 4 amigos, as Benny called the group, sadly became three.
They all just stood there for a moment. Then Sam spoke up: “Well, I think he’s where he wants to be, somewhere up there in the “Wild blue Yonder”. You see, Oscar had retired from a long career in the Air Force. He then worked briefly at the train station with Benny, prior to its closing. He sold tickets and Benny was a Security Guard. Mort once ran the “RentAll” shop and Sam had worked for the Port Authority,
“We’d better get him to the funeral home”, said Mort. But Benny spoke up and said: “What about his final wish”? “And what about his “before I kick the bucket list”? Sam: “I didn’t know he had one”! Mort: “Yeah, Oscar was a planner”. Sam: “I bet he didn’t plan on this”. Benny: “Oscar always said that when he went, he wanted to float down the river on a barge”. Mort: “How are we gonna do that”? Benny: “I figure we’ll have to buy him a ticket”! Sam: “You don’t buy a ticket on a barge, you have to work on one”!
Mort: “I got a solution”! “On Tuesday, the barges pass under the big bridge and we can drop him down onto one”. Sam: “Tuesday, we can’t wait till Tuesday”! Benny: “Sure we can, we’ve got to complete his bucket list for him, anyway”! Sam just shook his head and asked what was on Oscar’s bucket list? Benny: “Hang gliding and skydiving”. Skydiving!” said Sam. “All those years in the Air Force and he never jumped out of a plane”? Benny: “Nope, he was always afraid of a bad landing”!
Sam thought for a moment, then said: “Can we really do that”? Benny: “Yeah, they do it all the time”! I watched a documentary on PBX once about a guy named “Bernie” who wanted one more weekend party”! Mort: “I think that was a movie, Benny”! Benny: “Could be I suppose”. When Merna turns on PBX, I usually head for the PBR’s”!
Well, Mort soon returned from RentAll with a hand glider, and Benny said he had a plan. “I know right where to go and how we’ll do it”, Benny said. So, they head up the big hill overlooking town. With Oscar strapped to the glider, they ran, well sort of, and let him go off the hill… into the “wild blue yonder”, I guess! Old Oscar flew like an eagle, soaring up and down with the wind currents. “He’s flying like an angel,” said Benny. “Yeah, that’s probably because… well never mind”, said Sam.
Before long, old Oscar started getting out there aways. “Is he gonna come back”, asked Benny? Sam: “I thought you had a plan”! Mort: “Hand me those binoculars”. “He headed right over town now and he’s losing altitude”. “Ah that’s nice, Oscar always loved children”. “They’re pointing up at him”. “Now, they’re running”! “He’s coming down right onto the schoolyard”! Sam: “We’d better get down there, quick”!
A short time later, after collecting their friend from the schoolyard, they headed for the airport. Benny’s cousin Darrell had a plane and would take people skydiving. As they boarded the plane, Darrell asked why Oscar looked so pale? Benny: “Ah he’s just a little nervous, I think it’s his first time on a plane”! Benny told Sam and Mort “I’ve got this, guys”. And moments later they were gently throwing old Oscar out of the plane.
Benny: “Look, he’s flying like a bird”! Mort: “Yeah, free as a bird in the wild blue yonder”. Sam: “When is the parachute going to release, Benny”? Benny: “As soon as he pulls… oh yeah”! Sam: “I think he’s about to have a bad landing”! Mort: “Isn’t that kinda what he was afraid of”? Sam: “He probably should have joined the Navy”!
After picking up their friend Oscar once again, they headed for the big bridge over the river. Benny had put one of his Security Guard jackets on old Oscar. “I gave him my nicest one, the one with the American flag on the back”, said Benny! Sam: “It’s important to time this just right, so he lands on the middle of the grain barge”. Then just as the barge passed under the bridge, they helped old Oscar over the rail. Part way down, however, Oscar landed on a flag pole that was sticking out from the side of the bridge. There he was, stuck on the end of the flagpole with Benny’s American flag jacket in all its glory! Mort: “What do we do now”? Sam: “I’ll just drop one of those large cement blocks over there and if I can hit the pole near the base, it will break and Oscar will slide right off”. Then Sam yelled over to Benny: “Can you stop saluting Oscar long enough to hand me one of the cement blocks”?
The grain barge had passed, but Mort yelled that another barge was coming under the bridge. Sam dropped that large cement block perfectly and Oscar slid right off onto the middle of the second barge. Sam remarked: “Yes, that’s perfect”! Mort: “Well not exactly perfect Sam, that’s the garbage barge”! Benny: “Security Guard on a garbage barge, I would have liked that job”. Mort: “Well at least when he gets to the Gulf, they’ll give him a proper burial”. Sam: “How will they know who it is”? Benny: “That’s no problem, I put identification in the pocket of the jacket”. Sam: “That was a good idea”!
Later that day, though, Sam got a call from his friends at the Port Authority telling him that they found one of his buddies on a barge. They found identification in the jacket pocket and the name on it was “Benny”! “Benny!” said Sam. The caller said: “You need to get down here and get him, Sam, the boys are restless and they want to take him out for a burial at sea”! So, Sam called the others and they headed to the Gulf to get their good friend, Oscar!
They got back rather late that night and headed to the funeral home to drop off their old buddy. Of course, the place was closed when they got there.
Benny: “We can still get in, my cousin Darrell is the caretaker here”. Sam: “You mean Darrell from the airport”? Benny: “No, that’s my other cousin Darrell”! Mort: “Hold on you guys”! “You remember how Oscar would tell us how he liked to lay in his yard and stare up at the stars, don’t you”? “He would reminisce about his Air Force days”.
So, right there on the green grass of the cemetery lawn, they slept the night staring at the stars.
Mort: “What are you thinking about, Sam”? Sam: “I wonder what it’s like to fly a plane, I should have worked at the Airport instead of the Port Authority”. Mort: “Yeah, I was wondering what it would be like to fly on the Space Shuttle”. “What about you, Benny”? “Green cheese”, said Benny. “I could never live on the moon, my stomach could never handle eating all that green cheese”!
First thing that morning, they were awakened by Benny’s “other cousin” Darrell. Sam was the first to awaken and signalled to Benny and Mort not to say anything as they watched Darrell trying to wake up old Oscar. Sam finally commented: “Well, I guess this must be Oscar’s “final reveille”. “I think we can all salute him now, Benny”! And so they did! Then Darrell helped the boys get old Oscar inside.
Well, all of this has me thinking that anyone with a bucket list, should probably get going on it and not rely on help from their friends. One of my bucket list items, in fact, is to drive a racecar 150 miles an hour! I can’t imagine any of my friends helping me out with that! I should probably scratch it off my list, but to be fair, if it didn’t bother old Oscar, it probably wouldn’t bother me either! □
