When my mom was dying, she told me she had some important advice for me. She then went on to say, “Whatever you do, don’t grow old gracefully; fight it every step of the way.”
Since at that time she was a month from her hundredth birthday, and her mind was still very sharp, I thought it was good advice to follow. Anyways, I had no idea how to do anything gracefully. Gracefully to me was ballet and since I could never even conquer tap-dance or clogging, I thought that gracefully was pretty much beyond me. My father, who told me that I was standing behind the door when they passed out curly hair, also said that I was first in line for two left feet. And I know now that although he was joking, he was also absolutely right.
If there is a suitcase left open in the middle of the living room with nothing anywhere near it, I will fall over it. If there is a scatter rug in front of a door, and it is glued to the floor, I will trip on it. If there is a melted ice-cube in front of the refrigerator, I will slip on it. If they gave out prizes for the worst klutz in the world, I would easily win the top place. I am the queen of klutz. So, to age gracefully is just not in my book of accomplishments.
To fight old age every step of the way is something that I can do. I realize that fighting old age requires mental as well as physical attributes. For example, I travel to the nearest elementary school twice a week and tutor students in math. The math curriculum these days is nothing like I learned in school eighty years ago, which means that I have to learn how to do the new systems. I refuse to let in conquer me, because it pushes my brain to take on something totally unfamiliar. The students that I work with love it when I confess that I don’t know how to complete a problem with the new methods, and have to get instruction from the teacher. The kids say right out loud, “Ms. Nunnally, you have to learn it just like I do,” which I translate to myself as Ms. Nunnally, you are not so smart, either.
It’s true, and I have to work at it to gain the confidence I need to help a child who is confused and sometimes ready to give up. Then I feel very valuable and know that I am fighting old age by giving my undivided attention to a child who needs me.
When it comes to physically fighting old age, I find that all the exercises that are called for the elderly do not fit me, because I have a very bad back. (What else is new?) But I have found a solution to the pain. Three times a week I walk in the long pool that is part of the amenities that comes with the retirement village where I reside. I walk for an hour and mentally write stories like this one or ones for the magazine that residents publish for other residents to read. I believe that I am not only helping myself improve physically, but I am mentally making my brain work at something that is challenging. Otherwise, walking in the pool is the most boring thing that I have ever made myself do.
Then there are the tools that I have slowly learned how to use. My mother is probably rolling in her grave each time I type a thank-you note on my computer. I look upward and tell her that hand written notes on parchment paper are passe’. And using the new tools, which she always suggested we should do, makes life easier and quicker. Besides thank-you notes are thank-you notes no matter how I write them or send them.
My I-phone is another tool that I think I have mastered until it updates itself in the night, and I have to figure out how to work with the latest improvements. I think that the updates are there to discourage someone like me, but updates do help me to fight old age in a systematic but difficult way. It’s okay, but sometimes I wish they would just leave it alone.
Finally, there is another way that I fight old age every step of the way. I try my best to wear clothing that is comfortable but not dowdy, and my makeup and hair are the latest beauty suggestions for older women. The newest products for face and hair definitely make life easier and cover up some of my worst flaws. When my sweet husband says, “Honey, you are looking really good,” I know I’m fighting old age in a positive way.
No, I am not growing old gracefully, and yes, I am fighting old age every step of the way. The vitamins I take and the nutritious food I eat certainly help, but so does my attitude that old age is simply a state of mind, and I refuse to give into it. I do not know how many more years I will be given, but I do know that I will only give in by kicking and struggling all the way.
