November and December – holiday months in the United States when family and friends have typically gotten together.  Yet, over recent years, celebrating together, even talking, has gotten difficult for some as our political differences have harden us further apart than in previous stretches.  It’s become painful when an anti-Trump sister tries to talk with her pro-Trump brother, or when the pro-Trump mom can’t understand why her anti-Trump son has cut her off.  Some friends and family continue to stay in touch and just keep to polite, surface conversation knowing it is best to avoid any mention of hardships, the news, politics, etc.  Others, however, are no longer in touch at all, believing the other so wrong and misguided that it is useless to even engage with them.

For us -two friends, one anti-Trump, one pro-Trump- we have made a conscious decision to remain friends AND talk about our different views.  Yup.  No, it’s not always easy.  But we believe it is important; for us and for civil society.  Here is where we start:   We both believe that neither of us is evil.   We are both grateful to be Americans.  We both want the best for our country.  We both believe in and support the Constitution.  Neither of us want anyone to get hurt or want any violence against anyone.   We both like animals and volunteer with dog organizations.

Then we understand that, unlike generations before us, we get our information from different sources.  In other words, our news is not the same news.   We have no agreed upon “Walter Cronkite” providing us similar intelligence upon which we can base any political judgment.   As such, each of us believe that the other is not getting factual, truthful information.   We each think the other is getting misinformation, or biased, distorted information.  Or perhaps outright lies or withheld information.

Generations ago when President Kennedy was shot, the entire country came together in grief regardless of political persuasion.  Even 24 years ago when the shocking and malicious attacks of 9/11 occurred, we were all wounded despite political party.  We wonder if all of us coming together could or would happen now as distrust of information, and the messengers who deliver it, is rampant.

With such distrust and no common base of information, there can be little ground for a common base of understanding.    So here’s what we do instead.  We continue to spend time together doing the things we enjoy doing together.  We continue to respect each other.  We continue to ask each other questions we have about the issues and listen to hear how the other understands it.   We provide and look up each other’s resources.  We continue to defend each other to our respective friends when they don’t understand how we can be friends.   We continue to believe in our country.  And we hope that one day family and friends can more easily talk about political differences together and respect those differences.